Dollar Bill F 05007062H

This is the story of a $1 bill, by the name of Dollar Bill # F 05007062H.
He began his life at the Federal Bank of Atlanta, Georgia. He was created along with thousands of other dollar bills.
Within a week, the bank was robbed by Claude Speed, and F 05007062H was one of the bills stolen.
He ran from the police for a day, before a SWAT team arrived and shot him down.
At the last moment, it was revealed Claude had written a will, which stated:
If killed while robbing a bank, all the money Claude had stolen would go directly to his obese child.
A week later, the obese child took F 05007062H to the local Burger King, and bought a Whopper with everything on it.
Within seconds of taking the first bite, he had a heart attack from a large build-up of cholesterol in his arteries. He died before any of the staff thought to call 911.
Three weeks later, the cashier who had sold the child the Whopper was fired, after he was linked to an unfortunate incident involving a grill and the disappearance of the cook.
The cashier drove to Twonett Town and bought a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the pharmacy that sold anything.
A week later, the pharmacy was robbed by Claude Speed, who had come back from the dead.
Claude was quickly arrested, and used the bill for his bail.
Weeks afterward, the police officer who had taken the bail money was fired after an unfortunate incident involving his shaving while in the shower and the entire west half of the station flooding.
He drove to Twonett Town, bought a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, and sat next to the Burger King cashier.
Two days later, a voodoo lady bought duct tape, a 2x4 floorboard, and Velveeta cheese from the pharmacy. F 05007062H was part of her change.
She brought the dollar bill along with the items she bought to a fireplace.
That night, she and her weird cult began a tribal dance. The duct tape and cheese were sacrificed to bring Claude Speed's obese child back from the dead.
Upon his resurrection, the child grabbed a young girl by the head and
*SCENE MISSING*
He then took the 2x4 floorboard and brought it straight to
*SCENE MISSING*
After the child had *SCENE MISSING*ed everyone, he regained his senses.
He surveyed the damage he had caused, then shurgged, took the money, and bought a Whopper at a nearby Burger King. He died of a heart attack, again, after the first bite.
The cashier who had sold him the Whopper was fired two weeks later, after he was linked to both the stealing and modifying of the flame-broiler, and the sudden drop in the feline population of the city.
He drove his car all the way to Hollywood, where he bought old equipment from a studio that no longer needed them.
F 05007062H was later used by another studio for filming their next movie.
(Note: Check the preview image for the advertisement for said movie.)
F 05007062H was then used as change for a person called "Dr. Thunder". He bought two 12-packs of a soda pop of the same name.
Dr. Thunder took the soda home. As he was setting the 12-packs on his table, F 05007062H flew out of his pocket and glided to a chair.
Dr. Thunder took one of the cans and sat on the same seat. As a being whose power was the power of...uhm, "natural gas", he had to release said gas periodically or he'd explode.
F 05007062H was eradicated in the ensuing burst of wind.